Monday, February 22, 2016

songs about violence against women

These 16 songs to oppose domestic violence make me wish these were played and discussed in high school, to teach young people about emotional protection, not just physical protection in relationships.
Some look at this issue from a distance and think, these women should have known better. Why didn't stand up for themselves, leave. Well for a variety of reasons, such as that violence crept up on them, and social and emotional pressures made want to stay and fix the relationship when it still seemed viable. Another reason is financial dependence, the fear of not be able to raise kids alone, or not want to separate them from their father. Another, in some cultures is being forced apart from their kids if they leave. Battered women in the west are in fact also often threatened by their husbands that he will declare them inept as parents and take the kids.

I think it's up to all of us to redesign society so that a women, a mother can easily support herself and kids, and find the emotional support she needs outside of marriage. If marriage was no longer viewed as a mandatory achievement, if we used more of IT technology to find the right mate instead of adapting to the choice of men we know, women would be less likely to end up in an unhappy or potentially abusive relationship. If we emphasize extended families once more, the idea of having a tribe behind every women, women would not be trapped in the world of an overbearing or violent man. If jobs and society were designed such that women can live comfortably and raise kids with ease with or without a man, they would only stay with the right one.

Imagine if we also redesigned the culture of dating so that couples welcome the second opinion of friends and relatives. Dating rituals can be set up in a way to involve the support circle of the couple instead of isolating them. This would help expose any issue in a man, that a woman is overlooking. It would be great if dating rituals were professionally designed to expose any temper or violence issues. Couples could invite friends to second opinion-night. In some cultures that's still the case, men don't get to isolate or overpower a woman, because they get a sense that her whole support group is involved in their lives. In cultures where it's crucial to be appropriate however, people withhold their opinion even if they see a flaw in the relationship. There is almost an unspoken law of non-interference in the west, regarding other people's relationship, even if interference can save a women, or a man from the wrong relationship. Imagine if dating was reinvented to un-isolate couples, and integrate external opinions, of friends and family, into the mainstream style of dating, to spare a woman any bad choices.

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